Jokester in Chief

Tradition dictates that each year the President attend the annual White House Correspondents Association dinner and give a lighthearted, self-deprecating speech that also pokes fun at colleagues, political rivals and the media.

Some people think it's beneath the office.

I think it's entertaining, although every President manages to make a few jokes that will cause regret later.

Here's Obama's first shot at it from last night.

60 Minutes of Obama

Barack Obama held his first primetime press conference last night (Monday, February 9), and what was refreshing about the hourlong event was that -- for the first time in eight years -- it wasn't a complete embarrassment watching the President of the United States speak in public.

Working on a Dream

If dreams came true, wouldn't that be nice...

Forty-five-and-a-half years later...

High and Wide

President Bush made a surprise visit to Iraq this weekend, and for his trouble, had to dodge not one but two shoes hurled at him by a reporter at a press conference.

Awful throwing arm the guy has, missing a stationary target twice from point-blank range. Rumor has it the Yankees offered him $44 million, anyway.

A Little Color

Forty-Four

Barack Hussein Obama was just elected the 44th President of the United States of America.

For the first time in our country's history, an African-American will hold the highest elected office in the land.

Beyond that historic event, honor and dignity will be restored to the White House, after eight disastrous years of Bush-Cheney and the tragic national nightmare of Bill Clinton's second term.

It's been a long time coming, but change has come.

V-O-T-E

History will be made on Tuesday.

The people of the United States will either elect a Democratic ticket that will make an African American the 44th President of the country, or they will elect a Republican ticket that will result in a woman becoming the country's first Vice President.

No matter where one falls on the political spectrum, as citizens we have a civic duty to exercise the right to select our representatives and offer our opinion on various measurements, propositions, etc. that are up for debate.

Exercise your right. It's priceless.

I'll be voting for "that one."

Next

Barack the Vote: Down to "The Wire" Edition

The cast of television's finest show ever encourage residents of the state of North Carolina to v-o-t-e.

Rappin' Amy Poehler

Amy Poehler lit up "SNL" this week.

Powell For Obama

Gen. Colin Powell endorsed Barack Obama for President this morning on "Meet the Press."

Presidential Humor

McCain and Obama take time out from killing each other on the campaign trail to appear at the annual Al Smith dinner in New York and trade humorous barbs while adorned in white tie.

McCain -- who I hope loses the presidential election by about 30 points -- killed at the dinner, bringing the house down with a series of laugh-out-loud funny barbs directed at himself, Obama, the Clintons and more. If McCain could somehow project some of this lightness on the campaign trail, he'd be a lot better off than with the angry grandpa routine.

Catch the video below: McCain is in two parts, followed by Obama.

McCain Playbook

Pretty sad.

That Maverick Thing

Tina Fey kills, again.

Child Abuse

On Friday, John McCain selected Alaska Governor Sarah Palin to be the Republican candidate for Vice President on his ticket. Political pundits questioned her experience for the job and McCain's judgment in choosing her.

Three days later, the McCain campaign announced that Palin's teenage daughter was pregnant out of wedlock. Human beings everywhere wondered what the hell Palin was thinking by (1) accepting the nomination under these circumstances, and (2) subjecting her poor daughter to the media spotlight of a presidential campaign.

I have to imagine that dealing with an unplanned teen pregnancy is a wrenching proposition under normal circumstances.

I have to imagine it's even more challenging and painful to do when you're the daughter of the governor of an extremely small state in which the governor is very visible and popular.

It has to be infinitely more difficult to manage when your mother is running for Vice President of the fookin' United States!

Parents are supposed to protect their their children. Honorable folks do it every day, making sacrifices and foregoing personal gratification in a number of areas so their children can have the best opportunity for happy and healthy lives.

Not so the McCains and Palins. The adults who are putting Palin's daughter through what will come are sickening.

History

June 3, 2008.

Barack Hussein Obama is the Democratic Party's nominee for the presidency of the United States of America.

"Not this time."

Obama in Philly, planting his flag in history ...

"Nobody knows, the trouble I've seen..."

Today's top political story: Barack Obama wins the Mississippi Democratic primary over Hillary Clinton, according to projections by NBC News.

As of this posting at roughly 8:30 pm PT on Tuesday night, Obama led Clinton by 20 percentage points, with 92% of precincts reporting.

Hillary supporter Geraldine Ferraro is no doubt thrilled.

In other news, the FBI alleges that New York Governor Eliot Spitzer -- who was revealed yesterday to be an alleged client of a high-end call-girl -- was allegedly a frequent customer who might have paid the prostitution ring as much as $80,000 for hookers. Stay classy, Governor!

Weekend of Upsets

There was no full moon, nor was it April Fool's Day, so it must have been the onset of daylight savings time in the U.S. that caused this weekend's trip into Bizarro-land.

To wit--

* In English soccer, current Premiership titleholders Manchester United were unceremoniously bounced out of the season-long FA (Football Association) Cup tournament on Saturday by Portsmouth, which won for the first time in 51 years at United's home ground, Old Trafford.

* Continuing on that side of the pond, English second-division club Barnsley -- which plays in the English Championship division, which is roughly the equivalent of Triple-A compared to Major League Baseball -- continued its amazing run of knocking off the big boys in the FA Cup. Barnsley followed up their shocking road defeat of Premier League stalwarts Liverpool at Anfield by claiming another Premier League scalp in defeating London giants Chelsea.

* Back in the U.S., the seventh-ranked Stanford men's basketball team lost by 13 points to the University of Southern California at the Galen Center in downtown Los Angeles.

* Across town, the UCLA Bruins narrowly escaped an epic upset of their own, rallying from four down with 20 seconds left to beat the California Bears in a thrilling -- and highly controversial -- ending.

* USC's wildly hyped freshman guard O.J. Mayo and UCLA frosh phenom Kevin Love both hinted that they might not leave school after one year, after all. My guess is they're both gone, but stay tuned.

* Setting the chutzpah bar pretty high, Hillary Clinton, currently running second in the race to become the Democratic party's nominee for president, found it appropriate to offer Barack Obama -- current leader of the popular vote, current leader in elected delegates and current leader in primary/caucus states won -- the number two spot (Vice President) on the Democratic ticket in November. Obama declined. Never let it be said that Hillary doesn't have balls, but the entitlement act is wearing thin.

* Actor Jason Statham has been in some good movies ("Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels," "Snatch," "The Transporter" and "The Italian Job," among others), but he's also been the only watchable thing in some real dogs, such as "Cellular," "Crank," "London" and others. His latest film, "The Bank Job," looked like another one of the misfires, but to my sheer delight, it was a crackling heist/gangster saga in the vein of "Sexy Beast" and "Layer Cake," coupled with the intrigue of the best spy movies. In the happy upset of the weekend, I fookin' luv'd it.

All of these unlikely events couldn't top today's head-scratchers, though.

* New York Governor Eliot Spitzer, the highly successful former prosecutor who rode to the statehouse after a career spent rooting out corruption, crushing organized crime and breaking up prostitution rings, is about to find the shoe on the other foot. Today, The New York Times broke the news that Spitzer was caught on a federal wiretap arranging for a hooker to visit him at a Washington, D.C. hotel last month while he was in the nation's capital for business. Nice.

* In more wholesome news, the men's hoops team at my brother's alma mater -- the University of San Diego -- won the West Coast Conference tournament championship on their home floor tonight, beating the number 22-ranked Gonzaga Bulldogs and earning a trip to the NCAA tournament. March madness, indeed! Go Toreros!

"Sheeeeeeeeit."

With apologies to Isiah Whitlock, Jr. -- who plays Clay Davis, one of the more colorful characters on HBO's "The Wire" -- for purloining his signature catchprhase for the title of this post, but the projected results of today's Presidential primary contests in Ohio, Texas, Vermont and Rhode Island are in, and the news isn't great for we Barack Obama fans.

New York Sen. Hillary Clinton is projected to have won the Ohio, Texas and Rhode Island primaries, stemming a tide of 11 consecutive losses to Obama, who had to settle for claiming Vermont tonight.

The Clinton campaign will now attempt to change the narrative, claim renewed momentum and turn its sights toward the Pennsylvania primary on April 22.

Conversely, the Obama campaign will insist that the net delegate picture hasn't changed after tonight's events and that his commanding lead makes it highly improbable mathematically for Clinton to overtake him in pledged delegates before the Democratic National Convention in late August in Denver.

Meanwhile, John McCain -- now the Republican nominee -- licks his chops in waiting as the Democrats threaten to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory as the increasingly divisive campaign rhetoric among Clinton and Obama is only sure to increase now.

"Sheeeeeeeit."